A blog post on names, part 1/2

Part of this will be copied from Tumblr, and the rest are my own thoughts.

First, the Tumblr post. It is posted and written intended for trans men, but it speaks to trans women who are discovering and reclaiming themselves.


Most transguys go through the experience of choosing their own male name. This can be a difficult process, as you’re making a decision that will stick with you for the rest of your life. Tread carefully, as your name is often an integral part to shaping the first impression you send to other people. There are three major approaches most guys take in choosing a name: using the name your parents would’ve chosen for you had you been born male, choosing the masculinized version of your original name (i.e. Michael from Michelle), or choosing a unique name you feel best represents you and your identity.

Using the name your parents picked out for you at birth ensures that you’re using a name that is appropriate to your birth year and is a good way to acknowledge your parents during your transition. This is a particularly good choice if your parents are supportive of you as it includes them in your process. This honors your parents original choice and may make them a little more likely to use your chosen name.

The masculinized version of your name also respects the name choice your parents made because it sticks with the overall theme that they envisioned. These are also easier for your family and friends to get used to, as they often sound similar to what they are used to calling you. This also is a good idea if you want to keep your initials, which can be helpful if you have a student email address that utilizes your initials.

Choosing an original name is good for people who want to experience a symbolic break from their previous identity or to represent their rebirth through their transition. It is very popular for people to use gender neutral names like Alex or Dyan. People also often will utilize “fashionable” names that are popular right now (Jayden, Xander, etc) or names with unusual spellings (“Zander”, “Aydan”, etc). The only thing to watch for here is that these names may draw attention to you or mark you as obviously trans. This may or may not be a problem, but keep in mind that some people may not take you seriously if your name seems very trendy or will struggle with using your new name.

We settled on some basic guidelines for choosing a name, regardless of what approach you take:

1. Think about using your name in various situations: applying for a job, placing it after various titles (Dr. Mason Smith, Mr. Tim Adams, etc), using it as an old man or a father, etc, etc

2. Think about what names were popular the year you were born. This may or may not be something that is important to you, but having a name that corresponds with your age may help you fit in (if that’s your goal). Here’s a website that lists popular names for different years and calculates the changing popularity of different names: http://www.ssa.gov/oact/babynames/

3. Keep in mind that you can use whatever nickname you’d like with whatever spelling, but that your legal name is what employers and colleges will see. There have been sociological studies conducted concerning what names communicate to employers, and people with traditional names fare better in terms of call-backs and hiring than people with non-traditional names. It may not be right, but it’s true.

4. If your parents, friends, and/or family are supportive of your transition, it may be nice to include them in this important process. Remember that your parents likely agonized over what to name you, and they may feel a little offended that you are casting off something they put so much thought into. It’s always nice to make supportive friends and family feel included, especially since they may feel a huge lack of control during your transition.


Now that you've waded through that, it's my turn. ^_^

(For those of you who don't know, my legal name is Samuel Shane Vise.)

The topic of my name has been on my mind since 2004, when I first really began my gender journey. Crossing that line from "being male" to "being female" is a big step, with a lot of changes and repercussions to consider. The obvious ones usually are along the lines of "What will (insert person/group here) think?" and show those around you for who they are, whether they can handle change and want to see you happy. But the truly important ones are more internal than that. "Is this really who I am?" "Can I handle the potential loss of loved ones, friends, my job and the safety of the role I've been fulfilling?" With those also come smaller scope, yet no less important things, including your name.

It says a lot about you. One of the first things is that, in theory, it informs the listener of your gender. If someone who looked like, say, Cindy Crawford for example, were to be introduced with the name Michael Cosgrove (the example names I'm using are pulled out of thin air btw), the typical first reaction would be confusion. How you are introduced says other things as well, like nicknames. A person named Candace could smile and ask to be called Candy and then people might expect her to be relatively easygoing, possibly even have some experience in dance or cheerleading. (Yes, I'm in stereotype hell atm. Just relax and enjoy the ride.) Or, conversely, she could firmly correct those who breach that familiarity and insist on being called Candace, which could imply, for good or ill, a no-nonsense attitude, where she gets things done and is rather proper.

It can also inform those around you of your family and origins. An ethnic name like Emmanuel could lead someone to believe they were of Hebrew origins (whether specifically from Israel or not). Angelique could have parents who are French. Then there's the scary urban legends of "creative" parents who have named their children Female (rhyming with tamale), vaGina (like Regina), Shithead or, like in this story, a dad who named his first girl Facebook.

http://techcrunch.com/2011/02/19/facebook-egypt-newborn/

So, the point to all that is that a name is an important choice for someone who is starting a new stage in their lives. So I joined the ranks of those who are planning to change theirs.

My first choice was Stacy, after one of the girls I had a huge crush on when I was younger, but that fell to the wayside to be replaced with Samantha Erynn. (It's only been within the last year or so that I've given a lot of thought to changing my last name.) It's easy, since I could just say earlier on in my transition "Just call me Sam," which then progressed to Sammi. However, again, over the last year or so, it's been beginning to feel like a glove that doesn't fit as well as it used to.


At this point, the post has gone on for a while and I'm going to take a break and go try that crazy idea of sleep, to give my lovely readers a chance to catch up on the latest.