This is a blog some of my friends linked to via twitter. I found it a few days ago, and have been thinking on it since. There are things I really like and things I don't like, so I'm going to write about them up front, since they are things that are likely to be found in any discussion of gender theory. I'll assume most of my readers are familiar with some of the basic premises of the discussion (gender identity as opposed to biological sex, the variations on chromosomal sex, etc)
1. "Cis": For those who may not be familiar with the term, it's used to refer to people who's gender identity matches that of their biological sex, as opposed to "trans." Not everyone approves of having this label applied to them, but, logically, if there are people labelled "trans," then there *MUST* be a label for those who are "not trans." Otherwise, you end up subtly implying that people who are trans are different, and, inevitably, lesser. It may not be intentional or even conscious, and the effects may not be immediate, but if you label a group you aren't a part of without applying one to yourself, then eventually, that other-ing will naturally turn into demonizing and attacking that other group. It's a part of who we are as a species, no matter what culture you are from. I try not to apply labels to individuals who don't want them, but labels for groups make things easier for everyone involved.
2. "CAMAB/CAFAB": means "Coercively Assigned Male/Female At Birth." It's often used as a way to further separate oneself from the gender assignment based on your primary sexual characteristics seen at birth. (Or, in the case of people who were born intersexed, the gender that the parents/attending physician decide for the child, which often happens and is immediately followed by some form of surgery to "make" the infant the sex they want it to be.) Personally, I don't mind the label in general, except for the automatic assumption of coersion. To me, that implies a malevolent intent that I just don't believe is present at every child's birth. I highly doubt there is some secret cabal of doctors who are sitting at a round table in a dark, smoky room, plotting how to ruin the lives of every person born by not assuming they will turn out to be trans. I tend to think that, until the child says otherwise, the adults involved simply assume that the child will be cis. It's a safe assumption, as long as you don't try to hold it when the child says otherwise.
Ok. Up to this point has been my own words. Now for the blog post:
Trans Socialization
Gonna be another one of my rants~ so we’ll see where this goes. Also note that this is all my personal experience, and if it’s similar to yours that’s great, but if not then that’s okay too.
Basically I’ve noticed how a bunch of people want to say CAMAB trans people have experienced male socialization and CAFAB trans people have experienced female socialization.
Usually when I see this it’s when cis people say how they can’t feel safe around CAMAB trans people due to our apparent male socialization. Most commonly with trans women in an effort to find some rational for keeping trans women out of women spaces. I’ll also see this same thing used as justification for trans men to be in women’s spaces because of their apparent female socialization and ‘shared girlhood’.
Now if you’re a CAMAB trans person who feels they have had male socialization that’s fine (same with CAFAB trans people vice versa). But I really don’t like this trend of implying that all trans people experience socialization in the same way.
So now to get to the meat of this post, I’ll be talking about how I personally view my own socialization.
As a trans woman looking at any part of my socialization as ‘male’ seems bizarre and completely wrong to me. I’m female so my socialization was female. However I also don’t buy into the whole ‘shared girlhood’ nonsense since everyone is raised so differently and in so many different circumstances.
Growing up I feel everyone is bombarded with different social expectations but whether or not we actually internalize any of that depends on our own personal identities. I saw things directed at girls and women and internalized what I felt should be directed at me. The thing about my socialization though is that I feel waaaaay too many people look at socialization through entirely a cis point of view.
Imagine from a trans point of view how conflicted a little girl would be when she’s told by society that she needs to be feminine, she needs to like ‘girly’ stuff, she needs to be softspoken, etc, etc. And internalizing all that. But then having the people around you telling you that you need to be more assertive, that you can’t be feminine, that we’ll hurt you with physical violence if you are any of those ‘girly’ things. And just not getting that at all.
My socialization was a society telling me how girls and women should act but then also threatening me with violence if I did so. And this isn’t male socialization at all. This is something completely different from male socialization. This is how I was socialized as a young trans girl.
I hate that we have to talk about our socialization in cis terms. I had female socialization because I’m female. But my experiences, and my continuing experiences are not the same as a cis woman’s. Much like how any marginalized (insert adjective - trans, neuroatypical, queer, fat, etc ) woman’s experiences are not the same as a skinny, hetero, cis, white woman’s experiences. And yet we hold that as some sort of standard to measure all others. What the hell.
Let’s stop buying into this cis narrative that we have to measure our worth and our experiences by what they’ve been through.
So yeah. I definitely had female socialization. But I also had trans socialization. And queer socialization. And a huge number of other internalized socialization all intersecting with each other and making my experiences my own.
The one thing I can say I didn’t have was male socialization.
—-ahhh this was really quickly written so bare with my rantings and lack of proof reading~ Feel free to comment or reblog, but again note that this is just how I view my own experiences and how I feel cis people are pushing their narratives onto trans people.
1. "Cis": For those who may not be familiar with the term, it's used to refer to people who's gender identity matches that of their biological sex, as opposed to "trans." Not everyone approves of having this label applied to them, but, logically, if there are people labelled "trans," then there *MUST* be a label for those who are "not trans." Otherwise, you end up subtly implying that people who are trans are different, and, inevitably, lesser. It may not be intentional or even conscious, and the effects may not be immediate, but if you label a group you aren't a part of without applying one to yourself, then eventually, that other-ing will naturally turn into demonizing and attacking that other group. It's a part of who we are as a species, no matter what culture you are from. I try not to apply labels to individuals who don't want them, but labels for groups make things easier for everyone involved.
2. "CAMAB/CAFAB": means "Coercively Assigned Male/Female At Birth." It's often used as a way to further separate oneself from the gender assignment based on your primary sexual characteristics seen at birth. (Or, in the case of people who were born intersexed, the gender that the parents/attending physician decide for the child, which often happens and is immediately followed by some form of surgery to "make" the infant the sex they want it to be.) Personally, I don't mind the label in general, except for the automatic assumption of coersion. To me, that implies a malevolent intent that I just don't believe is present at every child's birth. I highly doubt there is some secret cabal of doctors who are sitting at a round table in a dark, smoky room, plotting how to ruin the lives of every person born by not assuming they will turn out to be trans. I tend to think that, until the child says otherwise, the adults involved simply assume that the child will be cis. It's a safe assumption, as long as you don't try to hold it when the child says otherwise.
Ok. Up to this point has been my own words. Now for the blog post:
Trans Socialization
Gonna be another one of my rants~ so we’ll see where this goes. Also note that this is all my personal experience, and if it’s similar to yours that’s great, but if not then that’s okay too.
Basically I’ve noticed how a bunch of people want to say CAMAB trans people have experienced male socialization and CAFAB trans people have experienced female socialization.
Usually when I see this it’s when cis people say how they can’t feel safe around CAMAB trans people due to our apparent male socialization. Most commonly with trans women in an effort to find some rational for keeping trans women out of women spaces. I’ll also see this same thing used as justification for trans men to be in women’s spaces because of their apparent female socialization and ‘shared girlhood’.
Now if you’re a CAMAB trans person who feels they have had male socialization that’s fine (same with CAFAB trans people vice versa). But I really don’t like this trend of implying that all trans people experience socialization in the same way.
So now to get to the meat of this post, I’ll be talking about how I personally view my own socialization.
As a trans woman looking at any part of my socialization as ‘male’ seems bizarre and completely wrong to me. I’m female so my socialization was female. However I also don’t buy into the whole ‘shared girlhood’ nonsense since everyone is raised so differently and in so many different circumstances.
Growing up I feel everyone is bombarded with different social expectations but whether or not we actually internalize any of that depends on our own personal identities. I saw things directed at girls and women and internalized what I felt should be directed at me. The thing about my socialization though is that I feel waaaaay too many people look at socialization through entirely a cis point of view.
Imagine from a trans point of view how conflicted a little girl would be when she’s told by society that she needs to be feminine, she needs to like ‘girly’ stuff, she needs to be softspoken, etc, etc. And internalizing all that. But then having the people around you telling you that you need to be more assertive, that you can’t be feminine, that we’ll hurt you with physical violence if you are any of those ‘girly’ things. And just not getting that at all.
My socialization was a society telling me how girls and women should act but then also threatening me with violence if I did so. And this isn’t male socialization at all. This is something completely different from male socialization. This is how I was socialized as a young trans girl.
I hate that we have to talk about our socialization in cis terms. I had female socialization because I’m female. But my experiences, and my continuing experiences are not the same as a cis woman’s. Much like how any marginalized (insert adjective - trans, neuroatypical, queer, fat, etc ) woman’s experiences are not the same as a skinny, hetero, cis, white woman’s experiences. And yet we hold that as some sort of standard to measure all others. What the hell.
Let’s stop buying into this cis narrative that we have to measure our worth and our experiences by what they’ve been through.
So yeah. I definitely had female socialization. But I also had trans socialization. And queer socialization. And a huge number of other internalized socialization all intersecting with each other and making my experiences my own.
The one thing I can say I didn’t have was male socialization.
—-ahhh this was really quickly written so bare with my rantings and lack of proof reading~ Feel free to comment or reblog, but again note that this is just how I view my own experiences and how I feel cis people are pushing their narratives onto trans people.
