Day 16: What are the most difficult aspects of having a sexuality that involves kink or BDSM for you personally?
Day 17: What misconception about kinky people would you most like to clear up?
Kink is kind of both a blessing and a curse. It's a curse in the sense that there are too many people who think that people who accept their kinks and enjoy them are freaks, perverts and predators. It's all too similar to how alternative religions, sexual orientations and gender identities are viewed. People often forget that we are human. We are neighbors, coworkers, in some cases, fellow church members, as well as brothers, sisters, mothers, fathers, aunts and, often enough, husbands and wives. In many cases, if you look deep enough, you might find something like that inside yourselves. (Not *MY* readers, of course, haha. Those of you who read me are mostly already gay/bi, polyamorous/asexual, kinky, trans/genderfluid, witches or followers of some other alternative religion, or some combination of the above.)
The blessings, however, are quite worth any potential drawbacks. Those of us who don't follow the crowd, often get to see things that others miss. We see exactly how much societal constructs tend to be a house of cards that each card actively tries to defend. We see the beauty in exactly how diverse we are as a culture, as a species, and as residents of this planet. We see the beauty and diversity in ourselves, and how we all fit together to make an even more beautiful collage of life. Often, we are more honest with ourselves, and know ourselves better than those who bury their heads in the sand out of fear of what their family/friends/coworkers/peers will think. In fact, by embracing our differences, some of us have had to lose some of those we hold dear. But, that too, makes us stronger individuals. We are more attuned to the pain of others, because the pain we have gone through prepares us for it.
In the end, though, while I feel sorry for, and sometimes laugh at, those who do quietly and meekly deny themselves for fear of others' opinions, I am also quite aware that it can be a serious sacrifice, and I do my best not to judge them for it, just as I ask they don't judge me for being a trans, poly lesbian who has begun to study witchcraft. One of my friends sacrifices his own manhood in order for his husband to continue to provide for their family. I consider him as brave and strong as people tell me I am for openly embracing my differences. (And, yes, since I intend for him to read this, he should know that yes, I would totally be bi for him. hehe <3)
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